Friday, October 09, 2009

On the way to a better life....

After leaving the Seniors home, we made our way over to another little mountain village where Aigoola and her family live... there are a few others we are very active with as well... The only father influence that they have is from our friends.. Some times it is difficult for a Mom.. even the best kids some times struggle....so we had a special supper there tonight .. Aiperie and a friend of hers from school who is having a hard time came home as well... Sergey , Talant, David and I were all there basically all the man figures in their lives...We had a nice supper , then in a Kyrgyz tradition, you sit around and someone tells a story.. So it was my turn to tell a storey... I shared how sometimes you can feel like you are living in a fish bowl, with all the rules , yet others seem to be having such a good time without living up to those rules... but actually the purpose of the bowl is not to keep the fish in, but to protect them from what is outside the bowl, and to create a habitat for the fish so that is does not need to worry about so many things... I also shared that un like the fish, they have a free will.. they can come and go any tie they want, but I just want them to know that if they are ever outside the bowl... unlike the fish, they are not trapped there... all they have to do is call out to their father, and we will be there for them... they are never alone, and nothing they every do will separate them from that love....of course I embellished it a lot, but For the first time ever... not one child talked fidgeted, or even moved ... they all listened intently... The new friends eye's just welled up... she had not experienced the love we were talking about before... Torat who had been so quiet and had not been saying much melted back into our old Torat... He has come home with me, and will spend the weekend with us... shopping , skating, out for supper, and to visit to several of our families homes on Sunday....

Later tonight we went for a second supper...( it is the only way we are going to fit the rest of the trip in before I have to go home.. in fact soon we will have to start with three suppers a day) over to Altynai's house ... When I got there , super was ready, all the kids were excited and at the table, and Altynai had supper ready.. missing was the parents... I knew right away what the problem was... As Altynai sat at the table I asked if everything was ok... I saw her looking to the "what would he like to hear" side of her brain, but then she stopped and answered that her parents were drunk when they got home.... I reassured her that somehow things are going to get better, and that I knew this already, and that Sergey would be coming over in the morning to tune up the father... so the younger ones will; be coming for breakfast early tomorrow morning with Altynai , and we will keep them distracted...
I sat at the table with my back to the bed rooms.... I could see two reflections every time the father went from the bed room to the bath room... one was in the window in front of me and the other was in the faces of all the kids .... they were concerned that he would embarrass them... I assured them quietly that it was ok, and that they were not responsible for their parents actions.... and we just carried on like there was nothing going on.. Finlay at one point, the older brother quietly got up from the table and as the father paddled past for the last time, he gently but meaningfully took him by his arm and his belt, and walked him strait out the front door, and locked it behind him....
Then he came back and we continued like nothing had happened.... I was so pleased to see the older brother take this stand.. I think it is the first time... it just shows that they are beginning to realise that as a family they do not need to put up with , or be dragged down by this behavior...
The little ones a few minutes later climbed up onto my lap and closed there eyes as we all had a good snuggle... Altynai came over sat down leaned in with the rest and said thank you for being a real father for us... I told her that a lot of people love them, and my father loves them,and that we are not going to give up on their real parents... that one day her father will be a real father to them again... but until that day, it was an honor for me to be a part of their lives....
That's 16 special kids today... all my favorites... all deserving so much more , but all on there way to a better life... I believe....I believe ... I believe....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I believe too

Thankful

Dan:)