Trying to hold it together..

Today was full of excitment for us.. we were finally back out on the road again and able to venture out of town.. Our first stop was to bring Emma for her english class at the outreach centre in the village...her youngest student was about 7 and her oldest was about 77 .. a cute old man in a suit and carrying a brief case.. very cute.. she did so well... After the lesson one of the ladies said that it was so strange for her... she had never had a teacher like Emma before...she is so quiet and polite and treats them all with such respect..Not like the Russian teachers she has had that would grab you by the ears, shake your head and scream into your face ..."LOOK INTO MY EYES AN REPEAT WHAT I TOLD YOU!"... just too funny...

We went over to Aigulia's house to say goodbye to her and the kids.. we have a great visit and she gave me a beautiful blanket to take home.. then started to say something ... I stopped her just as she started to cry, and said ... Aigulia we can't do this every time I go... We both sucked it back, gave a quick hug and got on with it... Then we went and played with the kids at the orphanage for about an hour... They were in full swing in the playground that we had built them a couple years ago with the youth team.. it was very nice.. the grass has started to grow in and it is a real playground now... It was also a great relief to see our older boys back from the city... I was so concerned about them, but as soon as the troubles started , they all high tailed it for home...

Next stop was to say goodbye to the seniors and had a little visit with them... they were all so afraid that something might have happened to us... for many we are the only family that they have to worry about... Jengish's adopted Grandmother was more concerned that she had not seen Jengish for a long time because he is in America, and who was paying for her to stay there... after all it is $20 a month for room and board and she does not feel right staying for free... I had always paid this myself, and just told them it was from Jengish.. so I assured her that she was taken care of and did not need to be concerned, and that Jengish would be back in another few weeks...she said that since she ended up on the street, Jengish is the only person who cared about her... I asked "what about now?" she agreed that now many people care about her...I think she is just missing him....

When we got to Laurisa's we were told not to go into the town because too many people had died there, and the village was very volitile... I thought that she might be a little sensitive, but non the less we were careful, and picked her up on the edge of town and brought her to Town with us for coffee at the apartment... I then started to go through all the people we are supporting through her getting updates and photo's .. I learned how the little girl with the heart surgery was doing so well... the first operation was sponsered and was very expensive, but saved her life.. they said that she needed two more operations.. the second was a lot cheeper and we covered it in the fall, and the third was yesterday.. it was all day, and she came out very well and is happy and smiling now.. the Doctors expect a full recovery and that she will not need another.. She then told me that the operation was the equivilent of $300.. and could we help with this... I smiled and looked at her and said ... it depends on how many more of these little dreams she had in her hand... she laughed and assured me that the rest can wait a few weeks, but this is the only emergency dream... so I got her the money... I then inquired about one young girl that we have beem supporting for a little over a year.. As well she is one that we felt a little extra concern for.. she had such a terrible life story.. Every time I am in town we visit her.. this time I could not get in because of the danger .. so laurisa was going to bring me a new photo... When I asked for the photo.. I could tell that laurisa was agitated.. then she told me that she went out at night and was found dead in the morning..

There were freinds and visitors here some of the other kids we support, and It was just not the right time to cry...but I sure couldn't do much talking... I don't remember the rest of the visit .. but I just remember about 10 minutes later Ishar calling to say that he was here to pick them up.... as they were heading out the door I got a call that the hospital was finished, and could I come and see... for the rest of the story check out .

http://lambinternational.blogspot.com/2010/04/when-words-fail.html

I came back home and sat down at the computer and had to write a letter to a concerned sponsor.. A person who had opened her heart up to such a hurt and scared little girl... and now I had to share with them about this terrible loss...

some days this is not as fun as others.... I guess some how I have to draw a balance.. I can not let this be the defining event of the day or the trip.... after all it is not the first friend I lost here this month.. but at the same time ... someone needs to shed a tear for her she deserved that much......