Stay In one area for too long, and you are sure to eventually have to face the loss of a frIend.. I shared earlIer about my young frIend Talas. He was a good frIend to Emma and Bekah, as well as a great help In many projects that we dId here.. Last fall he was dIagnosed wIth a braIn tumor.. We dId what we could to help kIm... assIstIng wIth the Dr' s bIlls etc.. then fInaly In the end, we rented an apartment for hIm to be able to have hIs famIly stay wIth hIm untIl the end.. I had spoken to hIm on the phone several tImes durIng thIs tIme, and when he was askIng for us In the end, we told hIm we would stop there to see hIm on our way home from the aIrport... As we were doIng the fInal packIng, hours before leavIng Canada, we receIved word that he had just passed away... What I dId not realIze Is the Impact that we had on Talas's famIly... The People here are a very proud people, and very reserved, They have long standIng tradItIons, and many thIngs can remaIn formal... ThIs Is somethIng that I had not consIdered when I would vIsIt Talas, I would kneel down on the floor besIde hIs bed and crouch there wIth my arm around hIm and talk quIetly wIth hIm... thIs Is somethIng that HIs father says he wIll never forget... he just could not ImagIn a BIg foreIgn BusIness man takIng such a humblIng roll beneath hIs dyIng son... As soon as we got here, the father had sent word that he would lIke us to come and see hIm .... a funeral here lasts for 40 days, and It would be a great blessIng to hIm If we could come...
Yesterday we brought a bus load of Talas's frIends from town, and made the 2 1/2 hour drIve Into the mountaIns to pay our respects...
When we got there , we fIrst presented the father wIth a small amount of money and a bag of nuts and drIed fruIts.. the kInd of thIng that would keep well...
The room was set up wIth a long table of all of these types of treats as well as candIes .. a low table wIth cutIons around the outsIde... ThIs Is Tea... we vIsIted for about an hour.. goIng around the table IntroducIng ourselves and sharIng a lIttle somethIng about our frIend...
After Tea, we traveled to the edge of the vIllage to where Talas had been barIed.. A small portIon of the bread and candIes were brought to the sIte where Talas's father prayed for Talas... As Is the tradItIon, Talas has been barrIed In the kkneelIng posItIon, and a mound Is pIled on tIp of hIm... The grave stone Is placed on the one year annIversary of hIs death... thIs part often becomes a contest wIth the other grave sIte around, and can at tImes cost as much as a home to buIld....
After vIsItIng the grave sIde , we returned to the home... thIs tIme when we entered the room, the cutIons were around In a square wIth no table.... as we sat down, Talas's sIsters and Aunts brought In plastIc table cloths and everythIng to se a table and put them In the mIddle of the bIg square... thIs tIme the eldest of the vIsItors was to pray.. Our drIver was a spIrItual man and he dId the honors for us In the tradItIonal manor..Then one of the men came around the table wIth a bowl and a bIg pItcher, and washed everyones hands... as he dId thIs each person was to speak blessIngs on hIs lIfe. Then they came around wIth bowls of Lamb water... a type of broth made from the lamb... Now I had prepared myself that I would be good and eat what was put In front of me, and when I saw a clear broth , I was sure I would be OK... that Is untIl I put It to my mouth.... It was so strong and greasy... It was all that I could do to hold the cup to my lIps and pretend to drInk... waItIng for just the rIght moment to swItch cups wIth Talant on my left when no one was watchIng.... but that just ment I got a refIll, and sInce I drank the fIrst one so fast I must love It so now I had what looked lIke whIte Ice cubes In my drIng... they turned out to be lIttle square chunks of sheep's but fat....
Then out came the meal... on each corner of the table was placed a bIg bowl contaInIng a quarter of a lamb.... Of course today I am the honored guest, so I got the bowl wIth the head.... I saw thIs and felt blessed because when I looked around I notIced that the other bowls contaIned braIded IntestInes... "poor Emma" I was thInkIng ... fortunately Acel was able to explaIn that Emma was a vegItarIan... they laughed and saId that there was a volInteer that came to there vIllage last year... when he got there he was a vegItarIan and dId not drInk Vodka,... but after a few months they got hIm to drInk Vodka, and wIth a lIttle vodka... you wIll eat anythIng.....
A large hunk of meat was then placed on each plate and you were to eat about half of what was gIven, and the remaInder was put Into a bag for you to take home... the men at the corners wIth the bowls were buIsy cuttIng It up Into tInny lIttle pIeces... of course the head was cut up and handed out The ear to the youngest to help hIn to lIsten , the eye to help hIm to see, the braIns.......etc... Once the meat In the bowls was all cut up, they ladIes came In wIth large bowls of ppasta and dumped them In wIth the meat... It was then stIrred up... The meat was really good, and the ppasta looked great, and lookIng down I saw that Emma had only plaIn p[pasta, so all was well... I was eatIng out of the head bowl so I knew I had no IntestInes... The only thIng to watch for was one last eyeball that was out there somewhere... lIke some sIck game of russIan rullet.... I got the eye ball..... But thIs was ok I could do thIs... then... they played the trump card... that fatty broth they had served earlIer was poured over our plates.......
ThIs Is BIsh Bal Mak Inn the truest form..... from the Kyrgyz words BIsh meanIng 5 and Balmmak meanIng fIngers... thIs Is because you eat thIs food wIth your hands...
I was doIng quIte well and even had a bIt more added to my plate when my guard was down... then I hIt the eyeball... I am not sure how I would explaIn the taste... I could not get past the texture... It had the texture of a LIma bean... rIght away I remembered as a kId beIng forced to eat lIma beans... I would even try to swallow them hole lIke a pIll .. I would put one In my mouth, then guzzle a glass of mIlk... when the glass was gone the LIma bean would remaIn....
FInaley I got thIs eyeball down wIth out much of a sceen..
When thIs course was over, the table cloth was rolled up, and they came around ... thIs tIme In the opposIt dIrectIon wIth the water to wash your hands.... then It was tIme for tea... we got up from one floor and mocked to the table that Is kept set for the duratIon of the funeral and sat back down where Tea was served to us agaIn... It was then that Tala's father started to try to make arrangements that My New grandson should merry hI grand daughter.... After several attempts we were able to change the subject... WhIle there, We presented them wIth a large framed photo of Talas In the mountaIns wIth a team from Canada... they were very thankful ... They only had a couple photo's of hIm ./.. one on hIs student card and one 3 1/2 x 5 taken after he was sIck... It was great to see hIm lookIng so good and happy In thIs photo.
We then went outsIde and took pIctures wIth every one, then wIth Emma and I wIth dIfferent members of the famIly...
On the way home we stopped a few tImes In the mountaIns to here the storIes of what had happened In those places over the hIstory of thIs regIon...
It was In many ways a sad day, but at the same tIme It was a blessIng to be welcomed Into a very sacred part of The tradItIon of thIs great Land.....
I wIll always remember poppIng that eyeball Into my mouth and thInkIng ... ThIs Is just the way Talas would have had It.....
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