In our life here , aside from the things that we post on the blog, there are always underlying situations in our daily dealings. People we are working with , people we are trying to work with , and people we wish we did not have to work with. Nothing is ever easy, and no mater how smooth things are going any minute things can take a turn. As these situations can often be a personal nature to those we are helping, many times the situations do not make it here on to the blog.
Today I came across this sign and it just seemed so fitting to many of the problems people come to us with. We always try to have patience as a lot of people have come from very difficult situations and do not have a solid frame of reference when they make decisions. so we try to help them understand that today's choices have tomorrows consequences. but I think some times the root of the problem can be much more base.
Because we do not speak the language well, it is difficult to know how much a person understands, as well it is difficult to know a persons intellect, we don't want to talk above their understanding , and at the same time we want to be maintaining a level of respect and not speak to them like they are stupid, after all even perfectly smart people can make stupid choices. I remember a friend that is a pastor sharing with me how frustrated he would get with people. They come to him and ask him to help them with a decision , asking his input. The answer would be so clear, but no mater how he tried, they would thank him, and then go off and do the opposite... then come back for help when life started to unravel ... This is something that we have faced over and over .. Its like 'why ask if you have no intention of following my advice, if you don't trust my advice ,DON'T ASK ! A couple weeks ago we had one such incident, and I was sharing my frustration, when Jengish, who has himself had lots of experience with such people had a phrase that summed it up ..
It's funny how putting the appropriate title to some one and their personality type sure helps you with dealing with them. So now rather then doing this ....
|unfortunately this was not a staged photo , Julie took it with out me knowing|
or resorting to using methods like this
I can simply recognize who I am dealing with , and still do my best to listen , understand , and offer to help when there is something we can do , continue to treat the person with respect, but recognize that most likely it is a nonversation.
and every now and then take a little time, step back and have a nice bowl of chili.