Where have all the dreams gone ?

I like everyone else has had , and has dreams.. dreams of retirement.. a beautiful house in the bush, blue sky's.. great fishing .. no neighbors.. just a beautiful tranquil spot... maybe on a lake with a red canoe under the ceader tree... I have had hobbies .like . Model trains.... radio controlled planes...woodworking .. fishing.. I have had collections...Hockey cards... beer mugs... antiques... at one point I even had a collection of over 50 strange breeds of chickens... They all were interesting, they all brought me joy and satisfaction for a time... but some how these dreams and distractions have fadded away...

Its kind of strange, I feel happy for family and friends, and we are often blessed as they allow us to be a part of their dreams and interests, but it all fades away when you look down the table at a dozen orphans having the experience of choosing off the menu in a high end restaurant for the first time in their lives... Or when you bring underwear to 270 disabled men who have not had any for a year... Looking into the eyes of a baby that has just received an operation because we were in the right place at the right time...

I remember a couple months ago I was with our friend Ed.. He shared how he was feeling so sorry and had such a bourdon for everyone back home held hostage to their dreams and distractions... stuck in the vicious circle... working to pay for stuff that they think they need to look after their stuff... all the while accumulating more stuff to keep them from doing the stuff they want to do... That conversation has played over and over in my mind this trip...

As I watched these precious kids I thought to myself.. " Where did all the dreams go " ? ... I don't know, but I sure don't miss the pressure they put on me.