Saturday, November 15, 2008

circle of support !

Yesterday was my birthday....... actually I don't know were to go from there..I have not been able to bring myself to blog much lately...My blog has always been that ... My Blog...about me... sure I tell a lot of stories about others we rub shoulders with in life, but ultimately I have always shared or stuck in my two cents worth as to how that has made me feel , Some times you may not be interested.... and yes I openly admit that at times I tell stories that may be too spiritual or political in there undertones for some..but that the great thing about a blog... is it is just that The ramblings in my head... .. ..but there is something rolling around in my head trying to get I will just start and see where we end up.......... We celebrated last weekend with Julies family and had a great time.. actually the first time they had all been to our house since before we left for Central Asia... Then Thursday night we went out for supper with my mom. Friday was a great day, I went with nine other friends to a two day men's conference in Toronto, the highlight of which was a concert by Robin Marks. It was incredible , there were over 5000 men there and some great inspirational speakers. After the first nights sessions, we grabbed a bite to eat and headed back to the hotel.. The guys even bought me a little chocolate cake.... When we got in, it was about 11:30, and I set up the laptop and turned it on...Oh Yaaa...high speed... something I don't have at my house... When the computer turned on, the Skye opened automatically, (does not work on my slow dial up) and I saw Altyni's name on the screen... Dan and Jamie were there( they had lead the youth team over to see us, and know Altyni) so I gave her a call.... As soon as I said Dratsvootsey (Hello) she pealed with excitement... It was such a blessing to talk with her.. her English is doing so much better, I hardly had to speak any Russian...She is doing well in school, it has been difficult for her, but she is through the latest round of exams and is feeling better now. She told me all about the new winter clothes that Anya had bought for her, and wants to thank everyone so much for " Giving her her new life...." Today we were back to the conference , the first speaker was a young man that had worked with mother Theresa, then with the homeless in Philadelphia and has actually been arrested several times there for helping the homeless... and has had to stand before the authorities and present his case, as a result has been able to have laws changed ...and hundreds of homeless have been given a new life..... Another speaker told a neat story of a friend of his who in college had skipped a few too many classes, and when he came to class he heard that a major assignment was due two days latter...He raced home, checked the course
outline to see which assignment found the research material, and worked day and night to pull it off.... When the paper came back, he was thrilled to see the fantastic comments... " Great Paper" , "Excellent insight" a few more pages.."Clear and concise" then " You definitely have a great grasp on the subject" ... then as he turned to the last page.... " Too bad it's the wrong assignment! F "....... The point was ... no mater how great a job we do, and how good we are at it... you do not get points for doing the wrong assignment ! The purpose of the weekend was to encourage people to make a
difference with their lives.... not focus on themselves...but to seek to help those around them .... Each speaker covered a different area, but there was a common theme. .....Some will cheer you on from a distance , some will mock you... and many may not understand... The Authorities may be at odds with you at times, and in the natural you may not fully grasp the impact of what you are called to do....But you can not let that stop you... Take note of those that have been placed around you for support and will be there to help you fulfill your assignment, then get busy.... The entire weekend as these sessions were going on,... six months of "assignment" kept flashing before me... While others may have the largest task ahead of them being "What is their assignment?" I have been Blessed with a clear understanding of what my Assignment is ... and yes I have been cheered from a distance...I have been mocked, I have had to present my case to those in Authority, and I know that there are thousands that just do not understand.... but I also have a growing list of those that feel the calling to step up and be part of that circle of support to help continue our assignment.... It has been almost three months since we got home, and our Bordon for the people of Central Asia has been growing exponentially in that time...I guess when I start to blog, my past has been to sit down, and open up ... to tell all.... as the time goes on, that is becoming to painful . I see that I have started to set up walls and not allow myself to go there ..... I have determined the story I want to tell, and tell it.... and sprinkle in just enough passion to keep it real... well that is not how you change lives.... I am not doing justice to you.. I am not doing justice to myself, and I am certainly not doing justice to the people I am trying to
help.... I am sorry for that.... Over the next few weeks I will try to get this back on track.... You need to know our hearts are broken... our friends are for them is not all good.... take Altyni for example ... I know what is burdening Altyni right now......I know that she likely cries herself to sleep every night with the Bordon she carries for her family......... she is not aware that I know, nor does she let on that there is a problem but I know ....and I we have already made steps to help.... but some one had to tell me....They had to come out and ask if they could help her . I know that I will never hear the whole storey as they are not at liberty to share all .. But ultimately they turn to PI for the support to make it happen.... They know that we have limited resources and many times to help would be a sacrifice ... They often start or finish there email with I am so sorry John we need help. ..... I have tried to explain to them that they should never have to feel sorry for asking for help, and that it is me that is sorry that we could not do more ... We have even discussed weather we should just sell everything and just go.... we could sustain ourselves for a few years.... we could not help them all, but we could help a few.... But that is not our assignment...... that assignment misses the part about "The circle of
support that is there to help you to fulfill your assignment"...... Well... I am so sorry, but we need your help
This post has turned out to be a little longer then I thought, but I
suddenly have more to say so here is part B and you can come back and read it
later if you like......

Part B) .....Anya I know that you will not appreciate me
sharing this and I know you read the blog, but people need to understand what
Burden does to a person....

We Had been in Central Asia for about a month
and had been working a lot with Sergey and Anya.. They had just come through the coldest and worst winter that any could remember . Both had some health
issues , but not letting on ... they took me so I could pay my Power bill ... As Sergey was heading in I asked if his bill was payed and then gave him money to pay it as well..... I figured that since I was there any ways... I would pry a little more.... I pointed out that they always seemed hungry to us... and asked if they had food at home.." Oh We are fine was the answer" I again asked "do you have food at home" Anya answered " the kids get feed good meals at school.." So I asked again "DO YOU HAVE FOOD AT HOME" Then Anya started to cry.... she said " John it was such a bad winter... people we were helping were dying all around us... we had to help....

Anya you taught me two things in that moment....
1. I had better prepare myself for the day when I would be
asked to put everything on the line ...

2. I can never be to ashamed to ask for help.

Anya It is me that is so sorry, and I will do all I can to share that Burden with you this winter....after all... I am in your circle of support !


Mint Man said...

John, I think you & I share the same heart.

Blair from Halifax

Hilary Marquis said...

It's horrible leaving your heart in Kyrgyzstan, isn't it? Our church has spent the last couple weeks on missions. I sat int eh auditorium today listening to testimonials, looking at pictures of other countries (that are so much better off economically). My heart broke all over again, I could see each little face I left behind in the orphanage, the children on the street that grabbed onto my arms and begged, the old woman cradling a sleeping infant under the street...all I could do was cry and pray.

But, you're laying the ground work to be in a position to help so many. There are so many times when I feel so helpless because I can't seem to get the ball rolling the direction that I want it to. The avenues I've pursued to raise awareness have turned out to be dead ends...if there is a way that I can be in your circle please just ask!

Anonymous said...

Hey Birthday Boy,

Much as the Promise Keepers Conference was a great experience, and hanging with the guys was good too. The most impact was hearing Paul and Lynn Kohls asking not who has permission to go into the mission field but "Who has the permission to stay here?" Of course the answer is no one as permission to stay in the pew, the great commission is to make desciples, so it was really comforting to talk to Altyni on Saturday night on Skype with you, one of the desciples you have made:)

The story they told of the student that kept on studying for her exams knowing that she did not have the money to pay for them, did not stop her work, she knew God would provide even at the final hour.

Thats what its about, so stay on course getting ready for your return, do not get tied up with the when, prepare the seed for planting, turn the soil, even in the desert the rains will come again, but it will only do any good if the seed is ready.


Dan :)