When Helping Hurts

A fine young boy we have come to love, sat across the table from us in a caffet today... We new he needed something, and could see the pain in his face as he fought for the words and courage to speek.. finaly with some coxing, he said ... " we are out of flour, and all I have been able to earn from colecting mettle is 200 som.. we need 300 ($7) more or we will have no electricity...
Just seeing his face, I could feel his pain.. Not sure who wanted to cry more , him or me...
With gut renching pain I told him I could not give him what he needed, but I would provide him a job so he could earn it... In side I am screaming at myself " WHAT IS GOING ON..YOU JERK>>> MAKING A KID WORK FOR FOOD" but as I looked back across the table and saw one of the biggest looks of relief and joy I have ever seen on his face... Today he received hope & DIGNITY.... It pained him to think about asking , to make the call and set up the meeting, and the whole way to town, he was in knots... he knew I would help, there was no doubt, He just did not want to have to ask. Everything in me wants to tell him it's ok he does not have to work it off, but I guess I know that it has to be this way... This is when "HELPING HURTS"
I spoke to Larisa tonight .. she often helps us with this families needs .. I shared our conversation with her and asked if he and is brother could come to her house and weed her garden for her.. She had the same look of relief as our young friend.. she then said while fighting back the tears that she has just been so busy, that just today she was saying that she can not keep up her garden this year, and has no idea what she will do...
I watch and see how the pieces begin to fall together, I realize that our young friend is not happy that he has work, but he is happy that he can return a favor and help us, and I realize that Larisa is not happy that some one is going to weed her garden, but that her prayers were heard and answered...
There is another time when Helping Hurts... Our friends David and Jayne come to help... tonight they are hurting. They will be leaving for the airport in 15 minutes... I know how they are feeling , we have tried everything, and it is never easy... In one more week we will be following them. this season is drawing to a close.. We prepare to leave with more needs and concerns then we have ever had before in such a short time, I know that like our friends, Our Journey Continues ...