Friday, October 14, 2011

is this what they call PTSD ?

PTSD is caused by a psychologically traumatic event involving actual or threatened death or serious injury to oneself or others.

Some times I wonder if this is something that I am facing in a small way .
The first time we walked into the mens home, It was what you could clearly call a "psychologically traumatic event". and it did represent serious death and injury. and NO I never wanted to go back again !... This , the place that disabled children were sent when timed out of the orphanages.. the most vulnerable of society , sent to be warehoused until they died. The first winter we were trying to make a difference there 80 men.. that's 1/4 of the population died of starvation and exposure many in their own beds ...
David and Jayne were with me on that first day.. We tried to cling to the fact that we had brought a ray of light into such a dark place, but I am not sure if it was what we saw, what we smelled, or the desperation and Hopelessness that we felt, but it was a quiet sickening ride back to town that first night . I was determined NOT to go back.

I had a reader following our journey, and she suddenly was on this like a dog on a bone... and faithfully gave to see that these men were not forgotten. This was the beginning of a NEW THING for them...
I have shared before , but when I went back a couple weeks later to put in the first warming room, one of the men stopped me in the hall,... he said that people come and see them and say that they will come back, but they NEVER do.. and that we were the first ones that said we would come back and we did . he then collapsed at my feet and started weeping.

As you know, over time , we have seen incredible changes here, with many others coming on board to help. Yet I still find myself in an emotional state at times .

This morning a woke up and watched a short video on FB of a party that was held there yesterday. As I have gone about my day today, I have found myself having little breakdowns, and crying as I think about where we have come from ... I am just so relieved and so thankful for everyone that has had a part in this . It's like there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so now I can let my guard down just a little , and with it comes a flood of emotions.
These orphans have come alive.. they have become so dear to us .. and now to see such joy coming to them is just overwhelming

It was a party, sponsored by the Espanola girls, with no less then 8 different organizations, coming together to celebrate the beginning of the renovations of the dinning room. THE HEAT IS IN.. Now that in and of itself is something to Celebrate.. THE NEW WINDOWS ARE IN .. again unbelievable.. and that's just the beginning, The new ceiling is going up and the new wiring is going in... you can read more about this great day at

We still have about $15 000 in renovations in the dinning room and kitchen, but as the saying goes.. "You eat an elephant one bite at a time..."
This would be such a great project for a church or service club to take on.. they could help raise funds and would be a part of the miracle taking place.. they could even send a representative or even a team and be part of the work.. For that mater , If they are serious, I could come and share first hand the situation and the possibility to Bring HOPE and DIGNITY to those who have been found!

No comments: